why is it called black friday?

First I must point out that I was lucky enough to bear witness to, not one, not two, but three NOVA back-ins last night as I was trying to park at Shoppers. All I wanted was that small 16-slices-per-package Kraft american cheese and I was stuck in the parking lot. I turned into one aisle and a giant truck full of illegal immigrants (I'm not being facetious, the truck was giant and I'm pretty positive none of them were US citizens) decides to take the time to back into the tiniest parking spot available. As soon as I see the smallest amount of space open up in front of their truck I angrily sped around them (had to make my point, you see). What happens next? A woman in a black Focus steals my spot and - yep, she backs in. After waiting for this moron to make her four attempts at backing in (still crooked, I might add), I speed off and turn into the next aisle... oh wait, I can't turn into the next aisle. Why not? Because some idiot in a Suburban is making a twelve-point turn to pull into his spot... backwards. At 5:30 pm on a Tuesday night when Lord only knows all I want is to make a nice hot grilled cheese when I get home, people in this area think it is of the utmost importance to back into spots. Is this to save time when they leave? Because it certainly cost them more time to back in than if they had just done it the NORMAL WAY... I can't possibly get into the ridiculousness that is the self-checkout line in this entry. If I had a pet peeve list, it would be in my top five.

....but my grilled cheese was delicious, no thanks to anyone in the Centreville Shoppers Food parking lot.

Last year my mom and I did the whole Black Friday thing. We went to Best Buy at 2am and realized that we were more than 100 heads back in line and proceeded to actually wait there until they opened.... as if we would actually get anything (we didn't). A drunk mexican (my theme today is illegal immigration, obviously) also threw a beer bottle at her when he thought she was cutting in line. It wasn't funny at the time, but we laugh about it now because he called her a "beech", as in "get back in line, you beeeeech". He said this while making the "suck it" motion with his hands. Come on now, that's funny. Even better, he was arrested shortly after his brazen attempt at crowd control. We also had her convinced that she should sue Best Buy for lack of security during such a crazy event... but once we started saying "if you win, there's this great sectional at Crate and Barrel you could get us", she felt she would be crossing her virtual ethical line. Oh well, to each his own.

My point is, after that incident of drunk mexicans and coming home empty-handed, we swore up and down we would never attempt another Black Friday again. What bright idea did we come up with last weekend? Lets do Black Friday this week. My brother needs a laptop and she can get one for $399. It's for him, so he's staying out there. She doesn't want him to stay alone so she's staying out there. I feel bad that they're going by themselves so now I feel guilted into staying out there (consequently, Steve will be dragged out there). The worst part is that they've decided the best plan of action would be to go immediately after Thanksgiving dinner. My mom wants to make sure she's first in line - Kennedy, we have to be first or else we'll never get anything! Then your brother won't get his laptop... then he can't do his Microsoft certification on WiFi at Caribou Coffee... then he can't get a job in IT... then his career goes down the drain... then life is pretty much over... and for what? Because we were fourtieth in line! That's what. So camping out at Best Buy it is. A word of advice: stick to the Best Buy in Fair Lakes or Gainesville. The Manassas Best Buy gets a little rowdy after 2am.