hello, little sweet pea

Like I previously mentioned, the pregnancy fatigue is seriously wearing me down. Shannon warned me that I would constantly be tired and I waved it off, saying “well I’m always tired (I really am) so I probably won’t even notice it!” Haha. Hahahaha. I was so naïve. You know that feeling you had in college when you’d be slumped down in your chair, lights off, watching some video (for argument's sake, how about my terrorism course senior year – watching a video about Liberation Tigers of Tamil Eelam or 17 November) and you stayed up too late last night? Your eyes are crossing… burning… and your head keeps dropping every twenty seconds. It’s a struggle to keep your eyes open, much less stay awake. That's me. All day. Every single day this week. I don’t know how to stop it since I’m not supposed to be overloading on caffeine. There are some times when I just can’t get anymore sleep – Tuesday night I got home, made and ate dinner, went to basketball practice, came home just short of 10 o’clock and passed out and yet all day yesterday I fought to stay awake.

Speaking of the little bean, this week it’s the size of a sweet pea (cute nickname). Here’s what we know this week: “Growing like crazy, baby is starting to sprout eyes, ears, nose, cheeks and chin. Those little hands and feet- still webbed like paddles- might wiggle by week's end, the heart is beating (almost twice as fast as yours!) and blood is starting to circulate.” I’m updating my weeks according to when they are updated on this pregnancy site I belong to… I think they change once I hit however many weeks and four days, although I can’t quite figure out the logic behind it. I want to keep them the same so I don’t confuse myself – this entire ordeal is already confusing enough. My first real OB appointment is a few weeks away (apparently that's normal - still seems far away to me) but I've taken the liberty of educating myself on a few pregnancy rules. I've checked out the list of diet no-no's and I don't tend to eat much of that stuff anyways, so I'm fairly safe. I don't drink much caffeine aside from maybe some iced tea at a restaurant, but I'll try to keep it to a minimum. I've taken a huge step by leaving my Excedrin at home - I've moved onto extra strength Tylenol (never works for me, but it's all I can use). We also have What to Expect When You're Expecting on our nightstand. Note to self: No more flipping to the ninth month/delivery section! All the talk about episiotomies, breaking your water (what if it happens at work?!) and "push like you're pooping!" is freaking me out.

I’m nervous about Super Tuesday. Of course I have faith that things will turn out the way I’m hoping, but for some reason I keep getting a bad feeling about it. Obama’s winning the delegate numbers right now (though not by much) but there’s some big states coming up. Obviously Clinton will win New York as Obama will win Illinois. Easy enough, although she comes away with bigger numbers there. California is huge, something like 400-500 delegates. New Jersey and Massachusetts have big numbers. Unfortunately, it’s probably going to be so close throughout the month of February that we don’t see a clear nominee emerge until March (or whenever Texas goes to the polling booths). Can I vote yet? I’m anxious.

P.S. Taryn, I'm jealous that you're on a mountain today.