you've got me feeling guilty

Last night I arrived home to find a note tucked into the handle of our front door. Assuming it was some random HOA junk mail (how many times can they remind you to fill out a proxy if you have to miss the HOA meetings?? - apparently, a lot), I folded it up and went inside. After walking the dogs, kicking my shoes off and giving 1-800-SunTrust a piece of my mind on the phone, I caught a glimpse of paper on the kitchen table. Upon opening the note, I was completely blindsided:

8 Jan 08

I just wanted to check with you on the noise level. I've made efforts to ensure you aren't bothered - please let me know if you still have a problem.

Steven is very loud, which is making me crazy and is why he is moving out this coming weekend. That should help things immensely.

Some mornings I turn on the news in the bedroom while I'm getting ready for work. I try to keep the volume down, but if it is bothering you, just let me know.

I apologize for seeming obnoxious before.

Carol

Carol is one half of the dynamic duo living next door to us. Unfortunately, we share a wall (make that a bedroom wall... directly behind our bed) with these jackasses and have spent a large majority of the past ten months despising them and hoping for a divorce. They moved in shortly after we did and were only dating at that point (they're past middle-aged... 45 would be a generous estimate) and, much to our dismay, made it official in July. Our disappointment with their holy matrimony lay solely with the fact that we cannot stand the husband. Without getting into details, lets just say that many times a night (many nights a week, for many months, etc) we either heard him being murdered or winning the Super Bowl. At least, that's what you would have believed had you heard him. He would carry on.. and on... and on... and when I found myself screaming "just SAY IT ALREADY!!" in response to his bedroom demands ("say it! *spank* say it! *spank* say it!"), we realized we'd had enough. We were losing precious ZzzZzz's and the dogs were going out of their minds.

We penned a firm (yet friendly) note asking them to please be respectful of the noise levels late at night/early in the morning. We received a rude note in return and the problem continued. This happened once more before we penned an equally firm yet friendly (also pretty hilarious) note to the HOA after that. Once they received a letter from the HOA, the noise level subsided for awhile... and then returned. Then the problem became less frequent and has tapered off over the course of the past few months to the point where we had actually noticed how little we heard their "lovemaking" (their words, not ours). We also hadn't heard much from the idiot husband in awhile. We knew he was around because his hideous rusty brown windowless rapist van was parked outside... but we hadn't been ambushed in the hallway or while walking the dogs in quite some time (he would often drunkenly confront Steve about how he wished we were buddies). Then this note arrived.

As much as I disliked them living next door to us, it made me feel guilty. I know we didn't do anything wrong, but we had spent some time wishing they would split up and here they are actually splitting up. I feel bad for her (not him, of course - he's an unemployed obnoxious ass). I felt compelled to knock on her door and tell her "we never had a problem with you, it was just him! all we wanted was for him to quiet down a little." but I was worried he was there. I'll leave her a nice note after this weekend - once he's gone for good. I think we'll be fine once she's our only neighbor. I've never heard a peep in this entire building other than him - even during their "lovemaking". Doesn't say much for his prowess in bed, does it? ;)